SPRING BREAK

It’s the holidays! Hurrah! I’ve decided to split my time between London and Nottingham and this week I have been in tourist mode!

On Sunday it was the annual Oxbridge boat race, when two groups of clever fitties get their row on down the Thames. It was beautiful weather for a day by the River, the sun was shining and I had massively underestimated the heat as I stood on the river bank sweltering in a thick jumper. Good one. We decided to set up camp in Hammersmith, the mid-point of the race. We arrived 3 hours before the first race began and already the crowds were thick. Ideal scenes for a spot of people watching, it’s toff overload. We’re talking chino’s, boat shoes and even the occasional velvet blazer in of course no other colour but deep purple. Loads of fellas are sporting a cream blazer, I assume this is them showing their connection to either one of the universities. There are huns everywhere! Thank goodness for sunglasses hiding my sins as I enjoy the eye candy. Eye candy comes in many forms in London. We saw a bunch of older chaps going to town on some Morris dancing by the river and I can’t help but appreciate their stamina and quads of steel as they leap-frog over each other. Other forms of eye candy include the made in Chelsea gentry who are clearly melting in shirts, blazers and suede shoes. I admire their determination to stay true to the cause.

We sip Pimms and enjoy the sunshine! This is the first little taster of summer and it feels gooood! The girls whizz by us mid afternoon and we greet them with whoops and gwarrns! I’m a Cambridge supporter purely for the fact that I’ve had a nicer day trip there before which included a delicious afternoon tea! The Cambridge huns bring it home! Hurrah! As the arrival of the chaps race closens the crowds get deeper, there’s no way we’re going to see anything. Even on my tippy toes I can just manage to grab a glimpse of the river through a little nook and cranny I’ve found. I end up watching the race from the screen of a guys phone who is recording it in front of me! He overheard me and asked if I’ d like to sit on his shoulders. I politely decline but instantly regret, he could have been the one!

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On Monday I have a day to myself and I decide to take my credit card out for a hot date on Oxford Street, my treat! Oxford street is normally a no-go zone but on a Monday morning it feels like I have the place to myself . I 100% don’t have the funds to go spoiling myself but my wardrobe is in need of a summer revamp so I just bite the bullet and go ballin’. I only buy a few summer items but I go IN on date outfits! Not that I’m dating anyone, but I feel it’s about time I start. I want someone to go on London adventures with, potentially with curls, a stubbly beard, strong shoulders and most importantly a kind heart. Easy, right?

Tuesday was SUCH a good day. I have planned a day of all things lovely for Amy and I. We joke that I would make a great boy, I would take you on some great dates. We start the day off at Pineapple dance studios. You can sign up for a day membership which gives you access to any of the dance classes on offer for that day. We decide to release our inner Lady Marmalade and opt for a Burlesque dance class. I have to go into ‘outer body’ mode, it’s so hard to act sexy! We’re asked to take on a sassy persona and ooze confidence and glamour. It takes me a while but soon enough I’m in the zone and feeling ma selffff! Taking on the role of Catherina Zeta Jones in Chicago I find myself shimmying what my Mumma gave me, in doing this I am essentially feeling myself up and peeling off elbow length gloves with my teeth. Who knew I had it in me? We practise provocatively shaking our puppies, getting handsy with ourself and running our fingers up our legs from toe to hip. We are taught the importance of eye contact and how to lock eyes with our audience making them desperate to get to know us a little better. I will definitely be trying this out next time I’m out and I see a pretty face! Start with their eyes, then glance at their lips, look down to the ground and then maybe a little nibble of your lip. And POW! Next thing you know there’s a hun offering you a G&T and asking if you come here often. We also learn to strut, I feel I have the strut down and can work it when needs be. Theres two older, Jessica rabbit-esque ladies in this class and they are fierce! I hope I have that body confidence when I’m their age! At the end of the class we put everything we have learnt together into a short routine which I’m sure at our next house party I will be teaching everyone/performing on the dining room table.

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After working up an appetite getting our sass on we head to Milk Train in Covent Garden for what can only be described as orgasmic, heart attack inducing, confectionary heaven. Milk Train has been plastered all over social media, and I just had to get me a taste! I’ve tried to come here once before but the queue was out of this worrrrrld. So second time lucky and we waltz straight to the front. I choose some popcorn, toffee, calorie central masterpiece and for £5 its not the most outrageous price tag when taking into consideration the craftsmanship behind it. We stroll towards Trafalgar square to demolish the treats in the most unladylike manner. The looks we are receiving as we tackle the candy floss coated monstrosity is so funny, people are practically licking it for us and devouring it with their eyes.

Later that day I meet Ellen who is staying in London for a few days as she writes her thesis. I’m so excited to have her here as we have a whole agenda of fun lined up for the week ahead. We kick things off at where else but London Grace. I won a social media competition which entitled me to free manicures and cocktails for two so this ones on them! I stray from my usual coral tones and choose denim blue.

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Its 5am and my alarm is going off. Why oh why at this ungodly hour would my alarm be going off on a Wednesday? Oh that’s right, I thought it would be a great idea to book Sunrise Yoga for 6:30am up the Sky Garden. This actually was a fabulous idea and a highlight of my holidays so far. At 5am we drag our tired tushes out of bed and by 5:30 we are running after a bus to London Bridge. We arrive at the Sky Garden and oo and arr at the views. I LOVE London at this time of day, it’s so peaceful. The Shard stands tall cutting through the morning mist and the streets around us are still. It’s hard to think in an hour or so the roads beneath us will be chaos.

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We find our spot and roll out our mats, we need the sun to rise, its bleddy freezing. The class is intense but I feel proud as my strength has definitely improved. I’m able to hold poses and feel strong. It feels great to be back doing yoga, my body needed a good stretch and I love to feel the burrrrn! Mid-class I notice the sun has risen casting a bright glow to reflect off all the sky scrapers around us. I love the moment that you realise your brain has zoned out and you’re in a state of relaxation, I also love the moment you’re in chair pose and staring up at the sky trying to breathe your way through the pain as your quads are shaking in defiance. Our final pose of the class is boat pose, I’m using all my strength to remain balanced and focus on my breathing to fight through the struggle as my abs are quivering. You got this! Repeat.

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After the class we are served breakfast up in the sky, we chow down on all sorts of healthy niblets whilst admiring the views! Sunrise Yoga was so, so good, and at £20 for a class in this location with a substantial breakfast after it’s actually a bargain, a yoga class alone in Clapham will set you back £20! If you can handle the early start I recommend trying it out! I left feeling like a health guru.

That evening we have tickets to the ‘Top secret comedy club.’ Its new material night on a Wednesday so all the comedians will be trying out brand spanking, never before heard jokes to see if they are a hit or a miss. At £1 a ticket even if the jokes are cringe its worth the risk. For £1 we see six comedians in total and the vast majority of them are really funny. I spend the evening trying to avoid eye contact with the people on stage as I have past experience of being targeted by a comedian and I can confirm it isn’t fun!

On Thursday the sun is shining. We head to the Kings Road and bask in the sunshine over a Lebanese Salad at Comptoir Libanais, it’s such a good spot. The food is freshhh and delicious, it feels like I’m on holiday as I slurp on a mint tea and feel the heat hit my cheeks. Ah, Zen. This place is in demand, there’s a queue forming and posh totties clutching onto their pocket puppies are top tapping in impatience as they wait for a table. From Sloane square we jump on a bus to Green Park for some sunbathing. Ellen cracks on with some work and I catch up with the latest celeb gossip, who’s had lip fillers, cheated on their partners, botched boob jobs, etc etc. All that heavy reading leaves me ready for a snooze and I nap the next hour away.

Later that day I discover Vagabond. Its revolutionary, like a walk in vending machine but for wine, WINE. The way this place works is wonderful, you top up a Vagabond card with dolla bills and then go to town trying as many different wines as you please. Theres 3 options, sample size, a glass or a more substantial larger glass. With about 50 wines to choose from you could have a wonderful evening sampling all sorts of vino, and with prices for a sample starting at around £1 you could start your training as a sommelier on a tight budget. Vagabond makes the perfect date night. Write that one down…

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The rest of the evening takes a turn from the heights of sophistication to children’s parties circa 1993. We head to Ballieballerson, a glow in the dark giant ball pit for grown ups big kids. With 250,000 glow in the dark balls we literally get balls deep and at times find ourselves fully submerged clambering for the surface to gasp for air. The room is UV lit like a multi-coloured adult playground with a DJ busting out some 90’s urban classics. It quickly gets hot and sweaty in the pit and a rehydration break is required. The cocktails at Ballieballerson are themed around the galaxy and are named after the planets, they all have quirky added extras like Saturn with its floating helium balloon, and the option that Ellen chose, Neptune which is frozen solid by liquid nitrogen and sprinkled with charcoal.

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On Sunday London hit the sunny heights of 24 degrees! Suns out, huns out and even the bikini makes its first appearance! Its only bleddy April! It’s a scorcher of a day and we pop our BBQ 2017 cherry at Highbury Fields in Norf London. Theres a huge group of us and EVERYONE is in a relationship. Apart from me, obviously. I feel like Bridget Jones, you know when she’s at the dinner party surrounded by couples! Luckily everyone is lovely so I don’t feel like an outsider at all. We spend the afternoon scoffing sausages, catching dem rays and sipping prosecco! It’s such a lovely day and as a first proper taster of summer, its got me feeling happy!

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I’m back in Nottingham for the rest of the Easter break now. I plan to spend it doing quite frankly – not a lot. I want to catch up with friends, have some Mum time and get fully involved in everything I miss about home. A London detox is needed, some time away to re-group! Notts get at me! 

Love from Fee xx

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